Never the Same
by SweetLips95
Summary: She never was the same after his death. Ahsoka's reaction to a certain clone captain's death and how it effected her later in knighthood. I promise that the story is better than the summery.


Author's note: I have always wondered how Ahsoka would react if Rex died. This just came to me and I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I looked over at General Tano. She was burning the bodies of my dead brothers. She always did that nowadays. She would always either burn or bury the bodies of the fallen troops, honoring them. I have never seen anyone so dedicated to honor the dead especially us clones. We are supposed to be expendable really droids of flesh but she treated us like equals. She wasn't like the other Jedi at least not now. She never really was the same after his death.

Ahsoka sliced the battle droid in two as she raced across the battlefield. They were gaining the upper hand as soon as they destroyed the remaining 30 droids and the 2 remaining tanks, they would be victorious. She turned back to call to the clones.

"_Come on, boys! Just a few more tinnies to scrap and we can go back to camp. Rex, tell the boys to aim for the tinnies. I'm going to take out the two tanks. I meet you and the boys back at where we started." _

"_Yes, Sir." Rex didn't need to know how she would do it. He just did what he was told. She had grown so much more independent over the last two years. He still called her kid but she had grown so much. She now knew how to command, take orders and act on the spot. Rex was silently proud of her. She was like the little sister in the midst of his brothers. _

_Ahsoka disappeared from his view and he barked out orders to the clones through his helmet. The men quickly took their aim from hitting the tanks to the oncoming tinnies that Ahsoka had been destroying for their pathway. In the midst of the shooting, Rex heard the sound of something falling. He risked it and took a look in that direction. He saw a huge metal bridge falling and landing on the two oncoming tanks, destroying them. As Rex went back to firing he had a smile on his face. He knew Ahsoka had been the reason for the falling bridge. Rex suddenly felt something go through his chest. He had been hit. _

'_I thought it would hurt more' Rex thought as he fell to the ground and died. _

_The other clones continued to fight and eventually destroyed the rest of the droids. After they did, they followed orders and went back to where the battle had started. Anakin was already there, successfully in his part of the mission. They waited for Ahsoka and after at least a half an hour, she came. She looked a little battered for sure but she was there._

"_Finally, Snips. What took you so long?"_

"_I guess you could say I got swamped by work." She said with a tired grin. She looked around at them and noticed Rex's absence. Her grin quickly turned into a frown._

"_Where's Rex?"_

"_He's dead, sir." One of the troopers supplied._

"_What?" _

"_He took a shot to the chest."_

_Ahsoka looked like she was going to faint._

"_No it can't be." She quietly whispered._

_When Anakin saw this, he quickly told the troops to get back to the camp to get some rest. He needed to talk to Ahsoka alone. As soon as the clones had left, he sat down on a metal box and beckoned Ahsoka to sit next to him. As soon as she did so, he turned to look at her in the eye._

"_Ahsoka, I know losing Rex is hard for you. It is for me too."_

"_Master, I just can't believe it. It was my fault. I should have never left them to shoot the tinnies by themselves. I should have stayed with them then Rex would still be alive now."_

"_Ahsoka even if you were there you still may have not been able to save him."_

"_Yes I could have. I know I could have."_

_Anakin cringed at this. It was like how he felt when his mother died of course he would never let her know that. He instead decided to take the know-it-all-master approach. _

"_Ahsoka, you know attachments are not allowed. Remember he is a clone, he is supposed to be expendable."_

"_How can you even say that? He was a person, my best friend. He knew me practically better than anyone."_

"_Ahsoka, I know you were good friends with him but remember your place as a Jedi. Remember the Code." Anakin said with a stern tone of voice. He looked expectantly at her waiting for her to perk up as she usually did. Instead she just turned her head away. Then Anakin began to recite the code._

"_There is no emotion, there is peace._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no Chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death, there is the force."_

_Ahsoka now had tears rolling down her face. She stood and faced him._

"_You don't understand." _

_She then ran away as fast as she could towards the battlefield. She needed to see his face one last time. She needed to see if he was really dead. Anakin didn't run after her. He knew she needed sometime alone. He simply stood up and went back to the camp._

_Ahsoka ran until she was where she last saw Rex. She looked frantically around. She ran from place to place until she finally spotted his body lying limply on the ground. She turned his body so he was facing forward. She carefully touched where the blaster bolt had gone through him. He was not breathing. She knew he was dead. She took off his helmet and looked at his face. It was now stiff and cold. She touched his face softly with her hand._

"_I am so sorry, Rex." She laid on top of him and hugged his body close to hers. She wept and wept until there was no more tears. It's my fault she kept saying to herself. Finally, she got off of him. She decided to make something so she would always have something to remember him by though she highly doubted that she would forget him._

_Ahsoka carefully took out his vibroblade and cut out a small piece of his armor. She began to shape it into a bead. After she was done she took off her Akul headdress and untied one of the pearls. She carefully put this aside and took the bead she had made from Rex's armor and tied it in place of the pearl. It was worth so much more than a pearl or corusca gem to her. She then carefully put the pearl in one of the container on Rex utility belts. She then picked up his helmet and force lifted him as she walked. She kept walking until she was on a hill that over looked a small lake of molten metal._

_Carefully, she rested Rex's body on the ground. She took out her lightsaber and drove it all the way through the ground until all she could see was the hilt. She dragged it through the ground until the cuts made a rectangle. After putting away her lightsaber, she force lifted the piece of earth out of the ground and dropped it off to the side. She panted. It had taken more concentration than she had expected. After catching her breath, she carefully lifted Rex body into the grave. She jumped into the grave with his helmet. She looked at the helmet trying to make up her mind if she should put it on his head or not. _

_Finally she decided that she would not put it on his head. He had a face and was a person not a faceless machine. She placed his helmet near his body in the nook of his elbow. She bent over his face and kissed him on the cheek._

"_Good-bye, my friend." She whispered. _

_She knew that he would be waiting for her when her death came. She thought of the Jedi Code. There is no death, there is the force. She never had completely understood the line but now she thought she knew. _

_She force jumped out of the hole. She peered over into the grave to look at him one last time. She backed away and force lifted the earth that she had dug up. She placed it back where it had been and packed it down with the force. Ahsoka looked one last time at the grave. The hill looked as it had before. She walked back to the camp much wiser than before. She never spoke of what she had done to anyone, not even Anakin. It would be her secret forever. _

_Forever would Rex be hidden. Never would he fight besides her again. He would never call her kid again. He would never warn her of danger. He would never see the end of the war. He would never be recognized for his great deeds. He would never listen to Skywalker's suicidal plans and simply nod as he always did. He would never again see Ahsoka save her master as she always did. He would never see her grow into the great Jedi he always said she would be. Forever would he rest in peace unknown to the universe._

_To Ahsoka, he had been so much more than a clone._

_To Ahsoka, he was a person._

_To Ahsoka, he was brave warrior._

_To Ahsoka, he was hero._

_To Ahsoka, he was brother._

_To Ahsoka, he was a Mandalorian._

_To Ahsoka, he was a giver of guidance._

_To Ahsoka, he was a Captain._

_To Ahsoka, he was a listener._

_To Ahsoka, he was a friend._

She was almost done burning the bodies when I got the order from the Chancellor. I didn't want to do it but I had to. I signaled to the other men to hold their fire. I would give her a painless but before I could shoot, she turned to me and handed me her lightsaber as if she knew what I was going to do.

"Keep it, Fives. I know what you have to do. I will miss you all."

She then just closed her eyes. I didn't know why she didn't put up a fight but I did as I was ordered to do. I raised my blaster and shot her straight in the head, a painless death. She fell to the ground with a thud. On her face was a peaceful look as if she was content. I ordered the men to dig a grave. She deserved a good place to lay in peace. She had honored us, now it was time to return the favor.

All the men were sad because of her death. The boys had loved her as a their general. They chose a beautiful place for the grave, a place where some exotic flowers where in bloom. As we finished burying her, one of the men spoke up.

"Why do you think she didn't fight us?" I thought about it for a while then spoke.

"She wanted us to live. She wasn't afraid of death. Remember the line in the Jedi code she always said after burning or burying our brother's bodies. There is no death, there is the force."

Then men all kept quite. They would miss still her even if none of them would admit it.

"We better get going. And men lets keep this as our secret."

As I walked away, I remember one thing Ahsoka had said to me when she got back to camp on the day Rex died. I asked her about death and her reply was,

"Without death, life could not exist."


End file.
